Break Up Wisdom

I’m grateful to report that the older kid and his girlfriend have broken up for good. I know that’s not a nice thing to write, but it’s been an on again off again drama filled past few years with their dating. It affected us all here at Chez Leeds because we’d have to hear about it when it was good and when it was bad. Not that we wouldn’t be here for him when things were bad, but it was frustrating to watch him trying to make a relationship work when it clearly wasn’t.

But then that was me before the divorce. Desperately trying to make it work with my then husband and now fast forward a few years from that moment when he said he didn’t want to do this anymore, I am so grateful that we’re not together.

Of course, when you’re in the midst of a breakup, you can’t see what the future holds or how the healing changes your life in ways that you may have never imagined. I wish I could have seen into the future of how I feel now and let that broken wife know that as an ex, things would be different years later. Different in good ways!

I now have a team of friends whom I adore. They are from all different parts of my life and even though most of them don’t know each other, they know of each other. We share parenting difficulties, ex messes when needed and generally happy news. I never really had that when I was married. I had lost myself being the ‘perfect’ Mom, Wife, and Daughter-in-law to a narcissistic family. But now I am a part of a super support system for which I’m so grateful!

So even though we don’t get together because of Covid (and some live faraway), we are on the phone chatting away without worry. We’re all different and yet the same, so I’m always learning something new from them. While most are divorced, some aren’t and each brings out a different facet in my life which is awesome!

This is my hope for my kid, that he will find peace. Renew and ignite friendships that will open his world to challenge him to see how amazing life can be. Find himself through personal development. Heal and take time to match with someone new…or not. Either way, just be happy and drama-free.

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10 Responses to Break Up Wisdom

  1. I loved reading this. Thank you for sharing. πŸ™‚

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  2. Paula Light says:

    Love shouldn’t be painful and dramatic. Took me a long time to learn this…

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  3. Ainsobriety says:

    I agree with everything you wrote.
    It’s so easy to cling to a shitty situation, worried about what comes next.

    That is why I still write my sobriety blog, even 7 years in. It is exactly the same. People hold on to booze, knowing it is drowning them, because they are afraid of a life sober.

    I hope my story helps reassure then it’s ok.

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    • janieleeds says:

      I believe you are an inspiration Anne so yes, if you want my vote, it’s to KEEP WRITING! Because you never know when someone will stumble onto your blog and at that exact moment need what you are saying from a place of being healed after dealing with so much. Good for you! xo

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Our son lives more than 1,000 miles away, and he’s totally private about his love life. I think that’s true of a lot of guys (I was the same.) We don’t usually hear about girlfriends until he breaks up with one and is upset.

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    • janieleeds says:

      I understand Pete. I think it’s different here since my kid lives with me so I know more. It’s hard to see a kid upset. Sorry you’re so far from yours in distance.

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  5. The most fulfilling part is finding peace and knowing you are there for him. I hope the next relationship is a smoother one.

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