I just saw that I haven’t written in 6 days! Yikes! I don’t know where the time has gone. I feel like I have ADHD, even though I don’t, because I have a lot going on here at Chez Leeds. Nothing traumatic mind you, just a lot of stuff and I feel like Ricochet Rabbit – ping ping ping!
Do you understand the reference? Does it make sense to you? 🙂 Now you’re showing your age (as am I)! LOL
Lately a lot of my friends and I feel like we’re being triggered with old wounds. Lots of stuff is coming up to be released with many emotional ties. Body image stuff from childhood and feeling older than when we last dated (which for many of us is decades ago) is surfacing. Being hard on ourselves when we look in the mirror I guess is normal, but it’s tough to deal with when you’re contemplating dating again.
One friend is online dating now. I often wonder if guys when they’re online dating after being divorced feel like inside they’re in their 20’s too. Because we seem to feel that way. And while none of us are so shallow as to only look at the photos, we are all so old! LOL Big laugh please. Because we are old…
And many of us are searching for something different this time. We’ve been wounded and have healed. We know what we don’t want, but what do we want is still undetermined.
I don’t think we need to have a list (although some friends have made very specific lists). I just don’t feel that way. I don’t want a checklist to have to manage when the time is right. I’d like to let it unfold and see how things go.
Sure, my friends are talking about ‘manifesting a man’ because if you’ve been on TikTok at all, you’ll see all those people talking about Grabavoi codes to manifest what you want. But that’s not me necessarily. I feel like when the time is right for both the man and me, we’ll know. It’s just maybe that I haven’t met him yet or that we’re not healed enough at this time.
But I find it interesting how people go about dating again after divorce. Everyone’s got their own set of rules, standards, and thoughts about how it should go. How a person speaks about what they want often is a clue into their past. What they say about the ex is important. Their manner in approaching someone too makes a difference. Do they come on strong and pursue or do they allow things to go at their own pace?
I know that Covid changed online dating a bit (according to my friend). While I’m not ready to ‘get back out there’ and put myself online, there is a piece of the Spring season that’s making me thing a bit more. But I know it’s not time for me yet. I have too much going on.
How are you doing?