Thank you to all who reached out and supported me. Your understanding and kindness were so appreciated! I loved the cheeky ideas for the ‘old bat’ and the much needed giggles helped! You all are amazing and I feel so blessed! Thanks for being you!!
So the kids came home and I didn’t say anything. It’s hard when they return because I never know what shenanigans have gone on at their dad’s side of the family’s house. But when there’s a hitch somewhere, it usually comes from there.
I am assuming my kids talked about it on the way over to their Grandma’s house because the next day, I was told that their dad and Grandma were asking if they were coming to family dinner on Mother’s Day and telling them that they had to tell their Uncle because he was making reservations. The kids didn’t say anything until the Uncle arrived and he asked them. But how kind that he told them that there was no pressure to go considering it was Mother’s Day and they’d probably want to be with their Mom and that it was completely understandable.
The kids took that opportunity to kindly say no and as it was told to me, “We said thanks for inviting us. We’d love to see you, but we’re staying with our Mom that day.” To which their Uncle told them that it was fine and he would see them again soon.
I tried not to leap into their arms to hug them when they told me. But probably the look on my face said it all. I didn’t cry, but I tried to play it off as being cool with whatever they had chosen. But you all know that I wasn’t cool at all and in fact was hurt and upset. But since they chose to stay with me, I was grateful. And they knew it.
I’ve since made early dinner reservations at our favorite restaurant for Mother’s Day. They were both happy to go and my heart is happy too.
I think it’s that they’ve not had the role model of how to honor your Mom. The ex didn’t honor his (I did) as I was always the one who was in charge of everything family – presents, cards, etc. When we were married, he’d get a card and have them sign it for me if he remembered. When the kids were younger, there was always something that came home from school that was special, so that made it easy. But that was it because we spent Mother’s Day with his family every year because the matriarch required our presence.
So now that they’re on their own with me and he doesn’t see fit to acknowledge me, this was where we were. But it worked out in the end and for that I’m grateful. 🙂
P.S. I made the early dinner reservations at the same time they were to be at their Grandma’s house so that there would be no mistaking whose time it is. Yes, it works for our schedule and maybe is a bit petty…wink wink.