I’ve started spring cleaning. Yes, I know I’m a bit late in doing it, but I’m one of those who have to start when I’m motivated and not before. Otherwise I can’t get it done. Are you like that too?
But the spring cleaning doesn’t have to do with any scrubbing (although that’s next)! It has to do with paring down my life. I’ve had a hard time letting go of the thoughts of ‘what it should have been’ and ‘what it used to be’ and ‘what it could have been’ for so long that I realized that these thoughts about life stymied me.
Additionally, I started going through my household items, clothing, shoes and tchotchkes and Marie Kondo-ing my universe. You know who she is, right? The one that organizes and wants you to ask yourself ‘if this item sparks joy’ in order to keep it.
Personally, it takes me WAYYYY out of my comfort zone. Because I don’t think of things as eliciting joy. I think of them as sweet memories. Talismans if you will. Snippets of time that I can hold onto by holding on to the item.
Example: I wore this when we went there and that was the great night that xyz happened. Or Aunt Sally gave me this when I was ten and told me that it was her favorite bracelet and that I should keep it to remember her by. (Note Sally’s been dead for over 40 years and I never wear the bracelet). But how do I get rid of these things?
But I’m learning. Growing. And doing it, with baby steps. Totally outside my comfort zone. Because in some way I feel like I’m losing a part of me by releasing the stuff. I know that sounds probably very odd to you, but it’s how I feel.
Does anyone else understand this?
P.S. And no, I still don’t have my wedding dress. That I donated to my high school as a costume for the play many many years ago and funny enough, that wasn’t hard to do.