I tried on bathing suits. I can’t even tell you how I feel about myself in them without a teensy curse so I won’t. Well, maybe it was a big curse, but I won’t repeat it.
There’s nothing like having been unmotivated for more than a year to make you want to disappear into nothingness and hide out forever. Really. That’s how I feel. Embarrassed. Feeling fat. Sad. Ashamed. General overall feeling of YUCK – yes YUCK with capitals. Add incredulous to the list too because how in the heck did I get like this? Oh wait, I know. Boredom. Stillness. Sheer Laziness. A glass of wine nightly chatting with my friend over the phone. It all adds up…and there’s nobody to blame but myself.
And blame’s not going to help me now. I know that so I am doing something about it. And I’m telling you so that I have a witness and maybe we can ever do this together? Anyone up to it?
I spent the last 30 minutes online buying some activewear because I bet what I was wearing when I was going to the gym pre-covid doesn’t fit. I didn’t even try it on. I just bought new because I’ve gotta start somewhere and I want to feel good. Step One. Check.
Step Two is I called up my trainer from the gym and asked for private training because I don’t want to go back in the gym. There’s too many people. So I’m starting Monday, twice a week in the park and she has everything I need. Let’s see how this goes. I’m hoping there won’t be anyone at the park and that it won’t be too hot out. But I have to get in shape. I can’t take this anymore and I know she’ll inspire me, support me, push me and help me.
Have any of you gone back to the gym? Is anyone feeling like me lately?