Holding Out For A Hero

Do you remember that song by Bonnie Tyler? I remember hearing it in Footloose the movie with Kevin Bacon back in the 80’s and I also remembered hearing it in one of the Shrek movies too. Do you recognize it?

The reason it came up is because my friends and I have been talking about dating and how it’s hard to find nice men and how dating apps allow for a lot of scamming. We were lamenting over how it was so much easier to date when we were younger than now as we’re divorced and over 50, with custody of the kids who are in the house. Sigh.

We’re not really holding out for a hero, but we wouldn’t say no, LOL. We don’t need him to be a fighter either, nor larger than life. Nope. But yup, it might take a Superman to sweep us off of our feet these days…Boy do I feel for the men our age..and I feel for us.

Because even though we would like to meet someone nice, we’ve also begun to realize that the traditional stuff is fading from our lives. When we need something, we reach out to each other. We grab drinks at the bar and make it a girls’ night out (I confess, we’re still looking at the men there though). But when we need to talk with someone about our day, we pick up the phone for support and kindness. Something we might have done with our exes, but now we share. And it’s really satisfying to talk with a friend who will let you process and give you her honest opinion and not try to fix the situation because…we’re not helpless. We can do it. We just need a friend to process it with in order to clearly see what is needed to be done.

I’m thinking that even when we find someone special, it’s going to be different than before because we have all made such strong friendship bonds that he’ll be relieved to be off the hook with all the conversations. He can just be the boyfriend, Significant Other or whatever. There won’t be that pressure to be a Superhero anymore. We’ve raised our kids. We’re healed. We want someone to enjoy time with, but we don’t need him for financial reasons, for opening the stuck peanut butter jar (we’ve figured a way around that now), nor for a myriad of other reasons from our youth.

We need good men. Honest, faithful and self-assured and he can be vulnerable, truthful and own his life choices as we do. We’re not expecting perfection. We want healed. And a partnership with us to enjoy life’s experiences now that we’re older. Older, but not dead. LOL No game playing. Just put your cards on the table and let’s see if we can make a match. And if not, then we wish you well.

How does that sound? That’s as far as my friends and I got in our thinking about a Mr. Next Relationship…

P.S. Below are the lyrics to the song…are you singing them too?

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods
Where’s the streetwise Hercules
To fight the rising odds
Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed
Late at night I toss and I turn
And I dream of what I need

I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’till the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’till the morning light
He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life
Larger than life

Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There’s someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
It’s gonna take a Superman to sweep me off my feet

I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’till the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’till the morning light
He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than lifeI need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’till the end of the night

Up where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I could swear there is someone somewhere watching me

Through the wind and the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood

I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’till the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’till the morning light
He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than lifeI need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’till the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’till the morning light
He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life

I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’till the end of the night

This entry was posted in divorce, music and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Holding Out For A Hero

  1. Agreed. Hero it is as I’m NOT interested in another rescue project unless it’s a dog or a cat.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Beth W. says:

    Excellent post, Janie!! 🙂 I do miss holding hands and kissing, but not so much that I want to just kiss the first frog I meet 😉 For sure no game playing and drama. I have yet to actually go on a date, but I agree that the pressure is off of the man for being “everything” since there are so many other outlets for us (friends, hobbies (for me WAY too much yardwork…haha!))

    I remember the song well!! I had the record and then later had to get the CD. I LOVED that movie! Kevin Bacon was just so adorable! “Almost Paradise” was the song my first high school boyfriend and I chose as “our song”. Oh the memories.

    Liked by 1 person

    • janieleeds says:

      I have a big grin on my face Beth because it brings back so many memories! LOL Not that I’m living in the past, but it is a nice place to visit once in awhile and remember who we were before we had to adult so much!

      I agree. I miss those things too, but I also have a full life here that I enjoy. So I’ll just keep enjoying my life and if/when someone comes along that’s great, but I’m not holding my breath, nor sitting here waiting to live my life because I’m single.
      Lucky for me, I don’t have as much yard work as you, but then I don’t have a pretty garden like you do! And yes, I love that we have outlets! 🙂

      Like

  3. Letitgocoach says:

    Yes my darling, I’m starting to date again as well and it’s been a learning curve. Men are damaged just as much as women, so you try and find one with the least amount. The damage can heal if we’re willing to be patient and not take what’s been done to them personally. I ask this question before spending much time with someone. “Does your past define you, or have you allowed it to refine you?” I don’t want to know everything about their past, if I like who’s standing in front of me today. I believe we all became our own freakin’ hero years ago, but I’m ready to let someone else wear the cape for a while. Thank you for sharing. xx

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s