I awoke on the couch this morning because I’m still super sick and my bedroom is just too hot to sleep in. It was so quiet this morning when I woke up, no air conditioning units humming, just the bird song from outside. And for a few minutes, I just laid there on the couch, taking in the golden silence.
Because I realized how silent I have been in my life. I thought I was taking the high road by staying silent and not speaking up. I was giving a golden gift to myself and to others by not telling them how hurt I was, but I think I was wrong. Not that there’s anything I can change now with it, but still. Probably good to know so I can evolve.
There are people I was really close to that now we really aren’t. More often it is happening to me and I see how relationships strain as we get further away from how close we once were. And while it was breaking my heart, I am working to try to find peace within because of it. We’re just on different levels of understanding, of life, of relationships, of lifestyles. And while it worked for many years, it doesn’t feel like it’s working now.
I’ve been quietly justifying the golden silence, not speaking up to how I feel because I know people are hurting lately so what reason do I have to say anything that might start to poke and prod them? Just allowing it to unfold however it may is how I justify the golden silence.
There’s a time and a place for everything and this surely isn’t either.
Have you been feeling this change in relationships as well?