Blech. The ex has moved back in with his parents even though he’s a bigshot in a company states away. He’s been gone and only rarely came ‘home’ for holidays for the last few years. It was a relief for me because I only had to be aware of his parents when I went out. But now he’s here and has been for the last few months which is disconcerting to me. I don’t want to run into him.
It is good and bad for my kids, our kids, because their dad is nearby. It’s good because they can go work out with him at the gym and every once in awhile they’re invited to the grandparents’ house to have dinner with them and their dad. I do relish a night off from cooking dinner! LOL
However, it’s not good because he’s now with some new girl (there have been a string of them) who’s local and he spends all his time with her. The kids were talking about how he was hiking last weekend with her and one of them said, “Yeah, but he’d never do that with us when he was here and alone and we wanted to spend time with him.” Indeed, he doesn’t ask them to do anything except meet up at the gym and most of the time, they invite him to go with them.
It’s so strange to me, but then again their relationship with their dad isn’t any of my business. That’s between them. The problem is that the kids talk with me and share how they feel about it and I feel badly. In the past, I tried to help them to bridge the gap with their dad, but now I just listen.
However, if your ex had moved back to town, wouldn’t you feel yucky if he were a hurtful narcissist with bizarre mommy issues with your ex-MIL (often referred to as Marie Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond)? At least I live 10 minutes away from them and can go to a different set of stores. But I know I’m not out of their reach. I’ve seen the ex-laws car pass by my house. Spying again I’m sure. It’s bizarre really.
Narcissists have a strange set of rules and being the ex-wife of one is not fun. Because they’re always watching even when you’re no longer part of their life. I happily went on about my life when he moved away. And I will happily (perhaps with a bit more trepidation) continue to live my life. I just dread the day I bump into him somewhere. Because he’s a loose cannon and I can’t predict him.
I’ve thought about the scenario because I’m a bit of a planner, a just in case I need to know what to do kind of girl. As long as it’s not a face to face encounter, I’ll not ‘see’ him if possible. That would be the best because then I don’t have to worry about any confrontation since he owes me a lot of money and he’s been a deadbeat dad. Sure, would I love to confront him with his new gf and let her know what he’s really like? Yes! But if you know malignant narcissists at all, you’ll know that this is a fight you’d never win for their manipulation of lies is extraordinary. It’s not worth it. Better that I continue with the law on my side and pursue the money stuff that way. And just go along my merry way not seeing him.
Because I really don’t want to see the smug mug on his face if he were with the new girlfriend who’s younger. The old me would have been saddened that I’d been replaced. Current me, although I need to lose a few pounds, wouldn’t care at all because I’m free of him! Of course, there’s that little voice inside of me that says, get those covid pounds off in case you see him. LOL not to get him back, but to feel more confident.
Wow, I’m all over the place today with this post. Sorry! Feel free to comment below if you’ve had any of these issues. Many of us have been there, put up with that and are still here!! LOL