Saturday In The Park

This title just came to me and then I began singing that song…did it make you think of it too? Saturday In The Park by Chicago? Perhaps I’m showing my age…LOL Who’s kidding who? Of course, I’m showing my age…and I don’t mind it a bit!

I’m officially 55 now…”double nickels” as my father would have said. And I own it. It doesn’t bother me. In fact, I’m happy I’ve made it this far and I’m still here! While I’d prefer I didn’t have so many wrinkles on my face, each one of them was earned by time in the sun, laughing and sometimes feeling anxious. I look at these young kids now and think, ‘wear your SPF’ because I didn’t’. I liked the beach too much and being tan…and now it shows….ahhh youth….

The puppy is doing better after having had his neuter. He’s a bit more sedate and listens better. Or maybe it’s just that he’s getting used to the routine around here and what’s expected of him. Leave it or Drop it are not yet a part of his commands so we have to work on that more. But I’m doing better with him lately which is good. I just don’t think I was ready for the whole puppy thing after having had cats, they’re a whole different animal! Duh….silly me.

The kid had an interview so we’ll see if he gets the job. But it’s not a typical 9-5 because there are projects involved so he’ll have to stay late at times. Job’s 1.5 hrs away, but only requires being in the office 3x a week which is good. He hates the thought of commuting, so who knows. In the meantime, we’ve had some arguments but at the end of the day, I tell him that I love him and he tells me that he loves me.

However, he’s been a big trigger to me in the sense that he’s been showing those narcissistic traits his dad had. Side comments that aren’t nice. Gaslighting. Blaming me. Telling me what to do. Being angry about nothing. Not taking care of the dog or putting it on me when all he’s got going on is video games. It’s been a real roller coaster here. Not fun. But I feel like I am more centered and standing my ground. I pay the bills here and so if he doesn’t like being responsible in our home, then there’s the door. That’s where he’s gotten me. Although Anne did mention that she’s just trying to enjoy her son’s company (in last post comment) and I’m wondering if that is my next step to see if that will help him. Because the other day he stated that he didn’t think I liked him, that we don’t communicate and that he’ll leave and I’ll be a lonely old woman. I kept my tongue and he didn’t get a rise out of me. Because he knows I love him, but I don’t like how he’s treating me, nor how he’s not stepping up to grow up and take responsibility for his life. It’s a tough road to parent alone sometimes.

Anyway, I hope you sing along with the song below…enjoy! We’ve got sunshine here so that’s good since the weather’s been wacky lately. Have a great weekend!!