What Do You Believe?

I was raised Roman Catholic. Church every Sunday, made all my sacraments, married in the Catholic Church, raised my kids the same way, but when we got divorced, it all changed for me. I had married for life, taking my vows to heart and found out that the now ex, hadn’t.

But everything happens for a reason, doesn’t it? Because without the divorce, I wouldn’t have continued on the way I had been raised. I still believe in God, the Universe, a higher power. I still pray the Our Father, Hail Mary and have been known to pray the Rosary on occasion for solace. I find it healing to commune with God, but not in the way I was raised.

After the divorce, I no longer attended Mass for a variety of reasons. Even though as a divorced Catholic who has not remarried, I could still receive Communion, I felt uncomfortable. Perhaps it’s because I’m very sensitive and the exlaw family still attended our church. But our church had been changing with the hymns they had been singing and the verbiage had changed as well. It was no longer the Mass I enjoyed with the bells heralding the body of Christ before communion etc.

My kids weren’t interested in going either and I didn’t make them go to Mass. I began communing more with nature and the quiet within me. After a time, I began reading more and expanding my views on spirituality. I found peace without Mass and all of the (man-made) Catholic laws.

While I’ve retained some parts of the religion that feel right to me, I no longer call myself a practicing Catholic. My mom was raised Presbyterian and she never understood why we had to go to a priest to tell our sins instead of directly asking forgiveness to the big man upstairs. So maybe that allowed me to look beyond my childhood religion.

I believe in spiritual energy. I believe in reincarnation, karma and the presence of spirits. I believe that we each have a life purpose. We can create our lives through the Law of Attraction. I believe in souls, who come together for a reason, a season or a lifetime to learn different lessons through a soul contract.

I ask for forgiveness through Ho’oponopono which I find more fulfilling. I am working on raising the female energies to balance the males – not to exceed them, but for equality. I’ve read books on Mary Magdalene and felt the synergy of those who channel her message.

Most of all, I believe in love. In the kindness that heals us all as a communion of people, united in the energy of love. In research, the matriarchal society that has diminished feels woefully sad and I want to energize her to equality which is not what the Catholic Church nor Bible really teaches.

I believe we choose to incarnate here with soul contracts to learn about the human experience. Part of that was due to reading a book by Neale Donald Walsch which resonated with me and gave me insight to the relationships I have had throughout my lifetime. It allowed me forgiveness to those whom had hurt me. It gave me strength to understand beyond my tender years as to how and why I had been hurt (as far as I can understand since those people have passed away). It gave me a new perspective on my life.

Perhaps you think me wishy-washy about religion, but this is how I feel now. I no longer need an organized religion, but instead choose to find my own way, keeping in the forefront that I lead with kindness, understanding and love. I am open to learning, to expanding and to creating peace within my life and radiating it to others.

How about you?