So I asked the older kid to come with me to the brain MRI. I wasn’t going to ask him. I was just going by myself like I’ve done so many other times even though I’m hugely claustrophobic and hate needles (gotta have contrast as well).
My self talk after divorce:
Just do it yourself. Don’t bother people. You can do this on your own. Be a big girl. Don’t be a baby about it.You’ve been through this before. You know what it’s like. You can handle this. You don’t need to inconvenience anyone because you’re uncomfortable. Just do it. Stop whining. You may need them for something more serious. Blah Blah Blah…
But a good friend who couldn’t get off work to go with me suggested I ask him so that he begins to see in real-time what’s going on and maybe gets a sense of the importance in what’s happening because he doesn’t seem to get it. He’s oblivious to anything I’ve been saying in regards to taking care of his dog more etc. And he’s never been exposed to what I’ve been dealing with health-wise over the years. But I think it’s time.
Because someday he may need to step up and help me again or help his wife/girlfriend and he needs to know how things are done. Not that I’m hoping that he’ll have to deal with anything like this, but it’s a good way to learn how to navigate the health care system, keep a cool head when getting bad news and asking the right questions and doing research when it’s something important. I mean, why not teach him, right?
So I’ll let you know how it goes. It’ll be a first for him to be there with me while I’m having the MRI. The ex (his dad) was always good about coming with me for this test because he knew I was claustrophobic and it helped to have someone in the room with me, tapping on my leg so that I knew I wasn’t alone. It helped because I wasn’t allowed to take any sedatives or do an open MRI. Wish me luck.
Update: So he went with me. I think it was a bit of an eye-opener, but overall, a good experience. It was he who was encouraging me, supporting me and that was a good thing – a good role reversal – which I think benefitted us both. When we got home, the older one suggested that Mom could use an ice cream run (how thoughtful!) so the younger one took me for a drive and a milkshake. It was a good handover between siblings, and I loved it.
So now we wait to see what shows on the MRI. Next week I’ll get some answers, hopefully.