My brother acts like I’m lazy now that I’m 6 weeks since surgery. I’m not doing enough. He’s got to check to make sure I”m exercising (walking) and am doing as the dr. prescribed. Which I am doing by the way, if not to the nth degree because I’m over tired all the time.
I wish I’d never had this surgery. There. I said it. What did it do but make me feel even worse? I’m not myself. I find no fun in this life. I’m not going to take my life, but this situation is cruel. It’s nothing. It’s apathy. It’s so. not. me.
And I can’t say it aloud to anyone because they’ll not understand. Not that I am sure you do, but I have to say it, to write it, to express it because God only knows this is an awful space to be in. This in-between motionless zombie existence. WTF?
I’ve heard that the one med I’m on causes weight gain (yup) and also increases tiredness (yes again). I don’t feel like doing anything anymore. I don’t want to see friends. I don’t want to talk with them. I don’t want to do anything. I just. don’t. care. anymore.