My kid walked away for a few minutes and I settled down after I got my heart and mouth under control after our last conversation. Allowed…that word just did it for me as it did for many of you who commented on it. Yup…allowed….as if I were under her spell. Uh…big fat NO!!!
So the reason this is coming up is because apparently the ex’s girlfriend (with whom I have no problems) was excited because he and I are supposedly “friends” – you know that saying, keep your friends close and the narcissists closer? LOL Anyway, she has been waxing poetic to the ex-MIL about how during the holidays she and her ex and his family get together still and are friendly. So that’s why the ex-MIL has the idea that I’m now ‘allowed’ to attend if I “ask” to be invited. BUT…Ask to be invited? LOL Not on her life….ever…
But the kid has it in his head that we’re all going to be a happy family. Ugh. No thank you…there was a time, long, long ago when I would have loved to have been invited, to have had us all be comfortable enough to sit down together nicely. But too much has passed, too many lies, manipulations and the deadbeat ex has happened along with having to take him back to court to pay what he owed for the kids.
Sorry I got off track. You wanted to know Part Deux…
Out of the blue, the kid comes back in for dinner and declares that he’s going to get his wife to sign a prenup when he gets married because when she cheats, he won’t have to give her half of his stuff.
My jaw dropped again. I looked at him startled because a) where did that come from? and b) was that about me???
What are you talking about?
Well Mom, I’m going to get her to sign a prenup because if she cheats, then I don’t have to give her half of everything.
Where did this come from? Why are you saying this out of the blue?
Because mostly it’s women who cheat and I’m not giving up half of my stuff to a cheating wife.
You’re not even dating anyone. Why are you thinking this? And besides, who said it’s only women who cheat?
(I know full well that this is from ex-MIL’s mouth as he wouldn’t be thinking this way) AND while I never said their dad cheated, they know I didn’t because the kids remember how devastated I was when he left. And let’s face it, they know me. And they know their dad and who he is. They saw the condoms the first weekend he moved out.
But the kid and I went toe to toe about who cheats in a marriage and who does it more. And I made sure to remind him that it wasn’t me who came home from a business trip and suddenly realized he lost his wedding ring. (true story) Can you say I wore rose-colored glasses and was blindly in love because I didn’t want my kids growing up in a divorced house? Yes, and I’m not proud of it either….the writing was on the wall…I just didn’t read it.
Men cheat. Women cheat. Cheaters and liars cheat. If you’re insinuating in some way, shape or form that I cheated, you are dead wrong and can leave this house, young man.
I’m not saying you Mom, but let’s face it. Women cheat while the guy’s at work and then all the hard work, all that he’s worked for, he has to split with her and it’s unfair.
I froze in my tracks. Not much has me speechless, but this did. This was from the mouth of the ex-MIL spouting off what she knows nothing about except from maybe Dynasty or some soap opera or her own poisoned mind.
I think you’re wrong. For the record, I wasn’t the one who cheated in our marriage And I take offense to your false accusations about your maybe to be wife. Where is this coming from?
Well, Grammie and I were talking…
I wheeled around to face him so fast as I had been putting the finishing touches on dinner.
Grammie…I purposefully let out the biggest disgusted sigh I could manage. I should have known…I threw up my hands in disgust. He was clueless to my response.
Yeah, she said…(and as he continued to drone on about the almighty Grammie and her proclamations about women, I wasn’t listening anymore. I had already tuned out fearing a heart attack from my blood pressure spiking over that (b)itch’s conversation with my son). He finally stopped and took a breath. There was silence. I wondered if he had asked me a question for I hadn’t been listening at all, so caught up in what I was going to say to him.
Well, for the record, as you well know, your dad left. I didn’t cheat. We were married for more than 20 years and your biased notions of marriage, cheating and splitting the assets upon divorce are incorrect. They are based on someone else’s erroneous thinking. I will advise you to think for yourself when you are in a relationship. And for the record, you need to have assets to protect in order to even begin to think of a prenup so you’d better start working and making some money if she has to sign a prenup and additionally, you need a girlfriend to marry.
Startled, he stood there looking at me as I had delivered my soliloquy quickly, firmly and without fanfare.
Uh, ok Mom. I was just sayin’ He was knocked off his game of spouting what Grammie had said about marriage, divorce and cheating.
We went on to have an ok dinner, but I couldn’t rest until I figured out the prenup business. Why would this be coming up? And that (b)itch knew I didn’t cheat, so what was all that about? Was the ex thinking of getting married to the new girlfriend and that’s where the prenup comes in? Because upon his parents’ death, he gets millions…but they’re not dead…
I struggled for a bit trying to figure it out and then I threw in the towel. Who the heck cares? Why waste time on the narcissist ex family? I mean really? I had to reign myself in because she was gaslighting me and taking up excess space in my brain. What’s that line – renting space in your head?
Anyway, that was Part Deux for those who were interested…the ex-MIL is a piece of work, isn’t she?