Moving…

I lived among the relics of my defunct marriage for years. Getting divorced, selling the house and moving the teenagers and me into a new place within the space of a week was overwhelming. I took it all. Whatever he left behind, I picked up the pieces and dragged them with me. Because I had no choice. When you sell a house, it all has to be removed. Every piece of furniture etc. has to go so that they new people have a clean slate.

Unfortunately, I didn’t move with a clean slate. I was bedraggled. When you read my first Janie posts, you’ll see it. I was a mess! Trying to figure out life and not being successful at it. I was lost. Betrayed. And didn’t even know the half of it at the time.

But I’ve recently moved again. And as I sit here at 6am in the quiet, I am reminded that now…this is my life. Not anyone else’s anymore. Mine. I know that sounds silly, but it’s been someone else’s priority in my life for my entire life. I always put myself on the back burner and put everyone else’s needs/wants/comfort ahead of mine. But no more.

This new rental shows it. It’s white and airy with just enough room for the kids, the pets and me. I have large bedroom suite that’s all mine and I love it! It’s a home that beckons friendship. Beckons to old friends, new friends and soon to be friends.

Before moving here I was hell bent on getting a new bedroom furniture set for myself, having been sleeping on the same mattress and with the same marital furniture for years after the divorce. But moving it here, made it a non–entity. It’s just furniture. Plain and simple. No longer does it hold over me the remnants of a failed marriage.

So instead of spending money I don’t have to prove that it means nothing, it just became nothing, rather overnight I must say! It’s like POOF – it’s just furniture. It’s a place to sleep that I can decorate as I wish…

Such a huge difference in my life…such a healing…such a new chapter!