Wife Swap

Have you ever seen that TV show Wife Swap?   I remember when it first came out and I was married.  It was crazy to me that women volunteered to swap families for a week.  I was fascinated by watching how other couples lived and interacted.  For the most part, the extremes made for good TV, but I had a hard time thinking they were realistic.

Now as I look back on my marriage as a divorcee, I think that people might have thought the same for my life and for what our relationship was.  While there was no physical abuse, the emotional/mental stuff that went on was clearly unhealthy.

I scurried to make things good even when I was put down and disrespected.  Ignored and chastised, I redoubled my efforts to please, but after awhile, I became apathetic to jumping through hoops.  While he could still hone in on my vulnerabilities, I became more numb until jolted by criticism or thrown a bone of approval which I so desperately clung to because in my head, it meant he still loved me.  It was not a good time in my life and I will admit that I co-created the mess because I was blinded by his NPD.

I watched Celebrity Wife Swap today.  Flavor Flav and Dee Snider swapped wives for a week.  I sat quietly on the couch questioning why I was watching such a ridiculous program.  But I was starkly reminded of how disengaged married couples can become and how when we’re in that pattern for a long enough time, we feel like it’s normal.  So the swap was beneficial because the wives got to see how other families function.

What you put up with is what you get, even when the bar goes higher and you continue to jump through hoops for approval.  A healthy marriage/relationship is always a give and take and a compromise.  Too bad I succumbed to thinking that because he was the breadwinner that I had no say and that my life was all about making him happy.

We are each responsible for making ourselves happy.  It’s better if we can be happy together.  If not, please get out now.  It doesn’t get any better.  Believe me.

 

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Posted in divorce, finding happiness at 50, inspiration, love | Tagged , , , , , , | 8 Comments

7 Day B&W Photo Challenge – Day Seven

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I was tagged by Kiersten over at Once Upon A Spine to do the 7 Day Black & White Photo Challenge. The rules are simple: Seven days. Seven black and white photos of your life. No people. No explanation. Challenge someone new each day.

Today’s nominee is:  Jay over at This Is My Truth Now.  Jay’s the author of two amazing books and a great blogging friend!

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7 Day B&W Photo Challenge – Day Six

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I was tagged by Kiersten over at Once Upon A Spine to do the 7 Day Black & White Photo Challenge. The rules are simple: Seven days. Seven black and white photos of your life. No people. No explanation. Challenge someone new each day.

Today’s nominee is:  Black Pen Art! Click on over to see her amazing blog!  I know it’s not photography, but it’s so unique that I just wanted to share her site!

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7 Day B&W Photo Challenge – Day Five

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I was tagged by Kiersten over at Once Upon A Spine to do the 7 Day Black & White Photo Challenge. The rules are simple: Seven days. Seven black and white photos of your life. No people. No explanation. Challenge someone new each day.

Today’s nominee is:  Amber over at Learning To Live Every Single Moment!  She’s got a purple rose on her blog and I thought it would be a perfect way for her to showcase her blog to you as well!

 

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7 Day B&W Photo Challenge – Day Four

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I was tagged by Kiersten over at Once Upon A Spine to do the 7 Day Black & White Photo Challenge. The rules are simple: Seven days. Seven black and white photos of your life. No people. No explanation. Challenge someone new each day.

Today’s nominee is:  Jo Price at Life In The Spectrum!

Jo, I chose this photo for you because it reminds me of our friendship – full of clover, grasses and lawn flowers topped with a white feather that I watched waft to the ground.  The icing on the cake of life.  Our spiritual connection and friendship.  Thanks for being you!

Posted in inspiration, love, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

7 Day B&W Photo Challenge – Day Three

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I was tagged by Kiersten over at Once Upon A Spine to do the 7 Day Black & White Photo Challenge. The rules are simple: Seven days. Seven black and white photos of your life. No people. No explanation. Challenge someone new each day.

Today’s nominee is:  Sam who writes:  That Soul Shit!

Sam, if you feel like participating, I know you post some great photos that I am sure would be awesome in Black and White!

 

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7 Day B&W Photo Challenge – Day Two

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I was tagged by Kiersten over at Once Upon A Spine to do the 7 Day Black & White Photo Challenge. The rules are simple: Seven days. Seven black and white photos of your life. No people. No explanation. Challenge someone new each day.

Today’s nominee is: Elaine over at Elaine’s Blog Following and living in the light.

Elaine’s doing digital art now so hopefully she’ll do some black and white photography as well!

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